"Show Yourself, God!"

TESTIMONY: July 14, 2023

Do you ever feel like God doesn't hear you? Do you ever feel like there's distance between you and Him? I wanted to share a testimony of something that happened last week when I was feeling this way.

Last week was a whirlwind. I traveled to Charleston on Tuesday to be with my best friend and her new fiance (!!!) as they celebrated their engagement. I drove back the next day, and then, I drove to and from Lynchburg the day after that, all while waking up at 3:45 a.m. for work and working multiple shifts at the Salem Fair. It was a busy and exhausting week, both physically and mentally. In the busyness, I found myself feeling far from the Lord. There was a disconnect, and I couldn't figure out why. There's a quote I love and I have no idea where it's from:

"When you are going through difficulty and wonder where God is, remember that the teacher is always quiet during the test."

All week long, I would pray, "Show yourself, God!" I know He's with me. He's always with me. Isaiah 41:10 says, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Fast forward to Saturday night - Lily woke up that morning with a squinty eye, and we just figured she needed to rest it. We went out to dinner and a movie that night and when we got home, Logan took her outside. Meanwhile, I was still feeling weird, so I walked around the living room praying, "God, show Yourself to me. I know You're never far away. I want to be close to You. Please show Yourself to me."

As I finished praying, Logan walked in and said something was really wrong with Lily. Her eye was worse, she wouldn't walk or lay down, she was very lethargic and she was in obvious discomfort/pain. It was almost 11 p.m., and we were headed to the emergency vet. We prayed over her on the ride. This brought back PTSD from when our pug before Lily, Pippa, was in and out of the hospital. She passed away at 10 months old, and so whenever something is wrong with Lily, it's really scary for us.

We couldn't go in with Lily, so I had to drop her off at the vestibule with one of the doctors . We went back to the car, both of us feeling scared, anxious, angry, frustrated, etc. We just wanted to be in there with her to see what they were doing to her, to know if they were being gentle, and to be able to comfort her because she was scared and felt so bad. We were told the wait would be hours, and I know my brain would wander to some dark places if I just sat there on my phone, aimlessly scrolling.

Instead of doing that, Logan and I started praying out loud our requests, specifically that God would be with her, since we couldn't be. Then, we opened our Bibles and started reading God's Word out loud. We read Colossians, 1 Thessalonians, 2 Thessalonians and some of 1 Timothy. We would pray after finishing a book, and, no exaggeration, five seconds after I said, "Amen," the doctor was calling me with an update. I felt such a peace in my bones in those moments with God's presence so evident. He was there with the doctors. He was there with us. Then, a little while later, a friend (who had no idea what was going on) messaged me a video on Instagram about finding joy in the hard times. Tell me that's not another way of God revealing Himself!

It turned out Lily girl has an eye ulcer - she was put in a cone and on four different medications. Praise God we got to take our girl home and she's been on the mend since then.

I realized a few key takeaways during this ordeal:

1. God hears our prayers:

"And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him." - 1 John 5:14-15

It's not always in our timing, but He will answer according to His will in His timing. I had prayed the "Show yourself" prayer throughout the week, but He answered it after I prayed in my living room. Was it in the way I thought He would answer it? No, but...

2. God uses hard times for our good:

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" - James 1:2-4

God revealed His presence and peace during a vulnerable prayer and Bible reading time. We clung to the only thing you can cling to do in hard times: our Lord and Savior. I truly believe He brought us to that place to grow us closer to Him and use our helplessness as a time to put full faith in Him, because...

3. God is our only source of peace and comfort:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." - John 14:27

In the hard moments, your phone isn't going to distract you enough to take away the worry and anxiety. Alcohol won't take away your pains. Even your spouse can't take the burden off your shoulders. The peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:6-7) comes ONLY through prayer and being in God's Word. He is the only one who can take away our fears and worries.